The fourth most common cause for divorce relates to in-law trouble. It is true that when you marry your mate you also "marry" his or her family. Although the Scripture is clear that we are to forsake our parents and cleave to our mates, nonetheless it does not say we are to ignore them. God's Word commands: Honor your father and your mother (Exodus 20:12). If we keep this commandment, we have the promise that our life will be extended.
Sometimes, however, mates include their parents too much in their marriage. It is a foolish wife who insists that her husband forever make a choice between his parents and her. Only a foolish husband would insist that his wife make a similar choice. The choice was made at the wedding altar; it is unnecessary and disastrous to vie for love in a tense tug-of-war ever after.
Meddling mothers-in-law and fathers-in-law need to allow their children to be free to form their own families and develop their own lifestyle. Parental possessiveness and childish overdependence can crush a marriage or make it terribly tense. Mothers should not "smother" and fathers should not "snoopervise."
Of course, in-law problems have always been with us. Jacob had difficulty with his in-laws. Yet it does not have to be so. Mature evaluation and fairness on both parts can help eliminate these problems. Ruth and Orpah are classic examples of how very real love can develop among in-laws.
“And they lifted up their voice, and wept again: and Orpah kissed her mother in law; but Ruth clave unto her.”
Ruth 1:14 KJV
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